7 Essential Guest List Tips

Wedding Blog

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7 Essential Guest List Tips

Kathryn Draney

It's so difficult to know where to begin when you decide to create your guest list. Once you announce your engagement, it might suddenly feel like you have to invite everyone you know AND their sister to your Big Day. People will get excited about your upcoming wedding and will often try to stick their nose in your wedding details or ask you a million questions. At that point, you might feel like because they've shown so much interest, you have to send them an invite. Just remember, despite the interest that a wedding generates, it is more important that you surround yourself with the people you WANT to be surrounded by, not the people you feel obligated to be surrounded by. They are two very different categories.

Here are some tips on creating your guest list - and on keeping it short.

1. Determine upfront what kind of wedding you'd like to have and know how much you can spend. If you tell people you're having an intimate ceremony, it will lessen their expectation for an invite. If you announce it will be the party of the century, well... they'll certainly want to be there to see it! Additionally, weddings are very expensive per guest. Imagine taking all of your friends out to a fancy dinner and paying $60 for each of them. That's how weddings are calculated - by guest - and that's how you ought to look at it. Those $60 guests can add up quickly.

2. Decide how you'll divvy up the list before you accept financial help from parents/relatives. Have your "must-invite" and your "really-want-to-invite" lists set apart from your "I'd-invite-them-if-I-could-afford-them" list. If the guest-in-question wouldn't make it onto those lists before you have financial help, don't add them after! And, of course, don't let your family dictate who attends your wedding. If you have someone you really don't want to attend, you are not under any obligation to share your most special day with them.

3. Figure out how many "Plus-One" invitations you want to extend. Sure, you want your guests to have a good time, but that doesn't mean they all need to bring a friend. They might meet new friends at your wedding! Each Plus-One is another $60 plate for you to buy. Ensure that you use Plus-Ones smartly instead of liberally if you want to save some dough.

4. If you were invited to someone's wedding, you might feel obligated to invite them to yours. While they might not be your first choice, try to consider why they invited you to their wedding. Were they having a large bash where they had the budget to include everyone they know? Or was it a smaller ceremony and they demonstrated by inviting you that they want to get closer to you? These can help you determine if they have a place on your guest list. Remember, if you don't want them there, but you went to their wedding, you still don't have to invite them to yours.

5. Make an A-list and a B-list. Work with your fiance to create "maybe" piles and "absolute no" piles. When in doubt, toss the name out.

6. Don’t forget to include children in your guest list numbers, if you’re inviting them. Children might also warrant additional kid-friendly menu options, so discuss that with your caterer.

7. Check to see if your chosen wedding venue has a ‘minimum number’ of guests when it comes to your chosen package. Maximums may apply as well, so ensure you don't exceed your limits.